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The Man in the Mirror | Jean and Maddie
Jun. 24th, 2018 04:04 amWhen Madelyne is herself again, she sees a necklace wrapped around a rolled note on her - Jean's - pillow.
Madelyne,
This is my warden item. It lets you access every part of the ship. It will also pulse if my inmate - Andred - is in trouble. He's not your responsibility, but I'd appreciate it if you checked on him if that happens.
I'm sorry you were used the way you were. I'm sorry the Phoenix abandoned you. I'm sorry the Jean you know couldn't, or didn't, stop it from happening.
My timeline is different from yours. For what it's worth, things will be different for our Madelyne. I also intend to murder Sinister at least a dozen times.
We won't meet face to face, but I remember becoming you, and I want you to know that I admire you. You're not me, and that doesn't make you lesser. You were warped and used, but so was I; the only difference is that I got a second chance.
You deserved better, Madelyne. I hope you can find some peace here, enjoy yourself, before - before time takes its natural course.
- Jean
PS. Scott loves you. For you. He always did.
PPS. I made you something. It's in the closet, if you want it.
Before she can start to weep, or clutch the stupid necklace to her chest, or tear the letter apart, she heads to the closet to see what the hell Jean made. She finds her flight suit there, crisp and clean as the day she first wore it.
She does cry, then.
Madelyne,
This is my warden item. It lets you access every part of the ship. It will also pulse if my inmate - Andred - is in trouble. He's not your responsibility, but I'd appreciate it if you checked on him if that happens.
I'm sorry you were used the way you were. I'm sorry the Phoenix abandoned you. I'm sorry the Jean you know couldn't, or didn't, stop it from happening.
My timeline is different from yours. For what it's worth, things will be different for our Madelyne. I also intend to murder Sinister at least a dozen times.
We won't meet face to face, but I remember becoming you, and I want you to know that I admire you. You're not me, and that doesn't make you lesser. You were warped and used, but so was I; the only difference is that I got a second chance.
You deserved better, Madelyne. I hope you can find some peace here, enjoy yourself, before - before time takes its natural course.
- Jean
PS. Scott loves you. For you. He always did.
PPS. I made you something. It's in the closet, if you want it.
Before she can start to weep, or clutch the stupid necklace to her chest, or tear the letter apart, she heads to the closet to see what the hell Jean made. She finds her flight suit there, crisp and clean as the day she first wore it.
She does cry, then.
Video - Backdated to Tuesday
Apr. 16th, 2015 10:10 am[Jean looks pretty bad, on the surface; her costume is singed and torn, she's covered in blood and gore.
But she doesn't look pained or tired. She's sitting against an ancient oak tree, legs crossed atop dying grass.]
How are things on the Barge? It's getting worse down here - sudden fissures, rabid animals, and I think something's wrong with the atmosphere.
[Private to Philip]
How are you doing?
But she doesn't look pained or tired. She's sitting against an ancient oak tree, legs crossed atop dying grass.]
How are things on the Barge? It's getting worse down here - sudden fissures, rabid animals, and I think something's wrong with the atmosphere.
[Private to Philip]
How are you doing?
[Jean is looking a bit worse for wear. She felt okay, more or less, after the port ended; she thought, then, that she just had a headache. She's used to those, after too many voices crowding her head.
But it's gotten worse. The voices are still there, clamouring at the edge of her consciousness. She can taste food she's never eaten, feel textures she's never touched, smell the air of worlds she's never dreamed of. Sometimes, when she closes her eyes, she sees them die.
She'd hoped, if she just waited, it would just fade away, and she could focus on helping other people. But now, it takes all of her focus not to be overwhelmed.
There are deep shadows beneath her eyes, stark against her pale skin. Her words are steady, but slow.]
So - I know at least a few of us were...affected by Karazhan. I was wondering if we could - pool our information. Maybe figure out why.
[She takes a breath.]
I was in the Celestial Watch, when I was pulled back to the Barge. I think - it's like the galaxies there infested my head.
But it's gotten worse. The voices are still there, clamouring at the edge of her consciousness. She can taste food she's never eaten, feel textures she's never touched, smell the air of worlds she's never dreamed of. Sometimes, when she closes her eyes, she sees them die.
She'd hoped, if she just waited, it would just fade away, and she could focus on helping other people. But now, it takes all of her focus not to be overwhelmed.
There are deep shadows beneath her eyes, stark against her pale skin. Her words are steady, but slow.]
So - I know at least a few of us were...affected by Karazhan. I was wondering if we could - pool our information. Maybe figure out why.
[She takes a breath.]
I was in the Celestial Watch, when I was pulled back to the Barge. I think - it's like the galaxies there infested my head.
Video | 4th Wall
Feb. 7th, 2015 02:30 pm[Jean is in her room, sat cross-legged on her bed. The thick green sheets are scrunched up round her knees, and a menagerie of stuffed animals surround her. She's wearing a loose sweatshirt and faded pyjama pants.
She looks for all the world like a normal woman, save for the portraits behind her - graduation day for the first team of X-Men, standing tall and proud in their battered uniforms; the second team goofing around after a hard mission, with no heed for wounds or bloodstains.]
Hey there. I'm Jean Grey - or Marvel Girl, or Phoenix. I'm a mutant, and an X-Man, and a cosmic host. [She says it all blithely, shedding secrets like an old skin. It won't really matter, probably - but it feels exhilarating, all the same.] I'm also a junior therapist and a former model, but those aren't as exciting.
I'm broadcasting from a place called the Barge; we sail somewhere between dimensions, I think, and sometimes our network opens up to all of them. I'd love to talk to you, even if I don't know you yet, or you've never heard of me.
She looks for all the world like a normal woman, save for the portraits behind her - graduation day for the first team of X-Men, standing tall and proud in their battered uniforms; the second team goofing around after a hard mission, with no heed for wounds or bloodstains.]
Hey there. I'm Jean Grey - or Marvel Girl, or Phoenix. I'm a mutant, and an X-Man, and a cosmic host. [She says it all blithely, shedding secrets like an old skin. It won't really matter, probably - but it feels exhilarating, all the same.] I'm also a junior therapist and a former model, but those aren't as exciting.
I'm broadcasting from a place called the Barge; we sail somewhere between dimensions, I think, and sometimes our network opens up to all of them. I'd love to talk to you, even if I don't know you yet, or you've never heard of me.
( Backdated Flood Spam / Psychic Shenanigans )
[Video]
[Jean's smile is wryly amused.]
Well, that was fun. Put some stuff in perspective, anyway. [She reaches up, lightly brushes her temple.] It's funny, the things you forget.
[Her hand falls, before rising again with an old photo - her younger self, hand in hand with Annie.] Whoever met me as a kid - hi, I'm Jean, and I'd still like to be friends.
And if anyone feels like talking about the experience, my office is open.
[Private to C'Rizz]
That offer's still open, if you ever want to come over again.
( Christmas List, AKA Dear Samiral )
[Video]
[Jean's smile is wryly amused.]
Well, that was fun. Put some stuff in perspective, anyway. [She reaches up, lightly brushes her temple.] It's funny, the things you forget.
[Her hand falls, before rising again with an old photo - her younger self, hand in hand with Annie.] Whoever met me as a kid - hi, I'm Jean, and I'd still like to be friends.
And if anyone feels like talking about the experience, my office is open.
[Private to C'Rizz]
That offer's still open, if you ever want to come over again.
( Christmas List, AKA Dear Samiral )
31 - Video - Backdated to 4th
Nov. 6th, 2014 03:07 pm[It's amazing, what playing with life and death will take out of you.
She's not sure what she did, exactly - just that she fixed something that was broken, and it took near everything she had. And it came on top of everything else - a month of being helpless, the chaos of the collision, the loss of everyone on Mirror Barge, their own people still missing.
(If she thinks about it took hard - about where Anya might be, if she's even alive - she thinks she might break.)
So she's just been resting. Recovering her strength, regaining her equilibrium. Talking to Morgana helped and hurt in equal measure, but it gave her the push she needed.
She knows how to put on a good face - to look calm and assured, even when she's twisted up inside. Her smile is warm and open, lit by the fire dancing round her fingers.]
I know we're all recovering right now. For those who don't know - I'm something of a therapist. If anyone wants to talk, I'm here.
[Current Patients]
How are you doing? Do you need anything?
[Wichita]
[Her smile turns rueful.] I'm sorry it took me this long to check in. Did you come through everything okay?
[Emperor]
[This is the first time she hesitates. She's not sure how she feels, now, about the choices she made on Mirror Barge. About how she's changed and what that means. About what his goal really was, in guiding her.
But ignoring it would be cowardly - and whatever his reasons, he helped her. He made her feel strong, secure, in ways she didn't think possible.]
I wanted to thank you. [Yes, that's true enough.] I know you had a bigger agenda, there, but I - I think I would have been a lot worse, without you there.
She's not sure what she did, exactly - just that she fixed something that was broken, and it took near everything she had. And it came on top of everything else - a month of being helpless, the chaos of the collision, the loss of everyone on Mirror Barge, their own people still missing.
(If she thinks about it took hard - about where Anya might be, if she's even alive - she thinks she might break.)
So she's just been resting. Recovering her strength, regaining her equilibrium. Talking to Morgana helped and hurt in equal measure, but it gave her the push she needed.
She knows how to put on a good face - to look calm and assured, even when she's twisted up inside. Her smile is warm and open, lit by the fire dancing round her fingers.]
I know we're all recovering right now. For those who don't know - I'm something of a therapist. If anyone wants to talk, I'm here.
[Current Patients]
How are you doing? Do you need anything?
[Wichita]
[Her smile turns rueful.] I'm sorry it took me this long to check in. Did you come through everything okay?
[Emperor]
[This is the first time she hesitates. She's not sure how she feels, now, about the choices she made on Mirror Barge. About how she's changed and what that means. About what his goal really was, in guiding her.
But ignoring it would be cowardly - and whatever his reasons, he helped her. He made her feel strong, secure, in ways she didn't think possible.]
I wanted to thank you. [Yes, that's true enough.] I know you had a bigger agenda, there, but I - I think I would have been a lot worse, without you there.
30 - Video
Sep. 13th, 2014 05:05 pm[Jean's been awake for a day, now. She still looks a bit wan, a bit groggy, but she's got most of her energy back.
She's smiling, now, if a bit ruefully.]
So - the last thing I remember, I was fighting sentinels in the CTS. Whoever carried me out of there - thank you. And tell me if there's anything I can do in return.
...Has that happened to anyone else? Passing out somewhere, um, unfortunate?
[Private to Bucky]
Did I miss much?
[Private separately to Stiles, Esther, and Touko]
[Her express shifts into something more concerned.]
Are you doing okay? I was only out for a few days, but...a lot can happen in a few days.
[Private to Arthas]
Um - sorry about that.
She's smiling, now, if a bit ruefully.]
So - the last thing I remember, I was fighting sentinels in the CTS. Whoever carried me out of there - thank you. And tell me if there's anything I can do in return.
...Has that happened to anyone else? Passing out somewhere, um, unfortunate?
[Private to Bucky]
Did I miss much?
[Private separately to Stiles, Esther, and Touko]
[Her express shifts into something more concerned.]
Are you doing okay? I was only out for a few days, but...a lot can happen in a few days.
[Private to Arthas]
Um - sorry about that.
29 - Video
Aug. 20th, 2014 04:09 pm[Jean is smiling. It's a bit wary, a bit strained, but sincerely friendly.]
Hello. I'm Jean Grey. If you're watching is, you've tapped into our network somehow. I'm sorry, I don't really know how it works.
[She gestures widely to the room around. Some might recognise it as her room in the mansion.] This place doesn't play by normal rules. We're out of time, out of space. So - even if you know me, we might not synch up.
[Her smile deepens.] But I'd really like it if you said hello anyway.
((Jean's fourth wall post! COME AT HER.))
Hello. I'm Jean Grey. If you're watching is, you've tapped into our network somehow. I'm sorry, I don't really know how it works.
[She gestures widely to the room around. Some might recognise it as her room in the mansion.] This place doesn't play by normal rules. We're out of time, out of space. So - even if you know me, we might not synch up.
[Her smile deepens.] But I'd really like it if you said hello anyway.
((Jean's fourth wall post! COME AT HER.))
28 - Video
Aug. 2nd, 2014 11:36 am[Jean doesn't allow any uncertainty on her face, not today. She's here to offer her help; there's no room for her own troubles.
She's in her office in the infirmary, hands clasped on her desk. She always dresses formally, when she goes here - it's silly, but it makes her feel more professional. Today she's in a deep green blazer and black dress slacks.]
I know a few people were seeing Alana Bloom. I'm not as qualified or experienced as she was, but I'm always here if you need someone else to talk to. My office is in the infirmary. I don't have any formal hours - you just need to contact me, and tell me when you want to come. It can be weekly, monthly, or just whenever you feel like it.
[She leans forward to take the device and show people the room. It's cozy, with soft dim light and plush arm chairs. A couch, of course. There are pictures on the walls, on her desk. Friends and family, on the Barge and off.]
It doesn't have to be here - we can go wherever you feel comfortable.
[She smiles, warm and soft.]
This is open to everyone. I won't tell anybody, and I won't do anything you don't want me to.
[Private to Esther]
[Her smile deepens. She's a bit nervous here, as well - Esther has been through so much, and Jean just isn't sure how much she can do, or what choices she should make. But they've been doing pretty well so far, considering, and this can only help, right?]
I think we should talk, if you're okay with that.
[Private to Friends]
[No nerves here, but some of her worry shines through.]
How is everyone?
She's in her office in the infirmary, hands clasped on her desk. She always dresses formally, when she goes here - it's silly, but it makes her feel more professional. Today she's in a deep green blazer and black dress slacks.]
I know a few people were seeing Alana Bloom. I'm not as qualified or experienced as she was, but I'm always here if you need someone else to talk to. My office is in the infirmary. I don't have any formal hours - you just need to contact me, and tell me when you want to come. It can be weekly, monthly, or just whenever you feel like it.
[She leans forward to take the device and show people the room. It's cozy, with soft dim light and plush arm chairs. A couch, of course. There are pictures on the walls, on her desk. Friends and family, on the Barge and off.]
It doesn't have to be here - we can go wherever you feel comfortable.
[She smiles, warm and soft.]
This is open to everyone. I won't tell anybody, and I won't do anything you don't want me to.
[Private to Esther]
[Her smile deepens. She's a bit nervous here, as well - Esther has been through so much, and Jean just isn't sure how much she can do, or what choices she should make. But they've been doing pretty well so far, considering, and this can only help, right?]
I think we should talk, if you're okay with that.
[Private to Friends]
[No nerves here, but some of her worry shines through.]
How is everyone?
[Private to Gary]
[Jean's smile is warm and easy.] Hey. Jack asked me to look after you while he's recovering, so - if you need anything, just let me know.
[Private to Alana]
[She looks a bit more nervous, this time, but the smile remains.]
Well - first of all, how are you doing? Are you still - is the death toll over?
[Private to Scorpius]
Remember when we were talking about trust?
[Jean's smile is warm and easy.] Hey. Jack asked me to look after you while he's recovering, so - if you need anything, just let me know.
[Private to Alana]
[She looks a bit more nervous, this time, but the smile remains.]
Well - first of all, how are you doing? Are you still - is the death toll over?
[Private to Scorpius]
Remember when we were talking about trust?
[Jean looks like herself again - except she's turning the band she wore round and round in her hands.]
So - sorry, to anyone I yelled at.
For anyone who doesn't know, my name is actually Jean, and I'm not a druid. [She sounds a bit wistful, though. The memories aren't quite hers, now, but enough remains that she misses them.
Aglain, she thinks, was a lot like Charles.]
I'm starting to worry about this trend. I've ended up as a terrorist twice, now. [Her lips quirk with a sharp sort of ruefulness.]
[Private to Morgana]
[The wry amusement fades, and her voice is low and soft.]
So. That was Camelot.
[Private to Elsa and Ben, separately]
[This, though, is a bit lighter.]
You were an X-Man, huh?
[Private to Marsh]
[And the amusement returns entirely.]
Thanks for the beer.
So - sorry, to anyone I yelled at.
For anyone who doesn't know, my name is actually Jean, and I'm not a druid. [She sounds a bit wistful, though. The memories aren't quite hers, now, but enough remains that she misses them.
Aglain, she thinks, was a lot like Charles.]
I'm starting to worry about this trend. I've ended up as a terrorist twice, now. [Her lips quirk with a sharp sort of ruefulness.]
[Private to Morgana]
[The wry amusement fades, and her voice is low and soft.]
So. That was Camelot.
[Private to Elsa and Ben, separately]
[This, though, is a bit lighter.]
You were an X-Man, huh?
[Private to Marsh]
[And the amusement returns entirely.]
Thanks for the beer.
25 - Video
Jun. 11th, 2014 07:53 pm[She hasn't changed since she got here, scant hours ago. Her cloak - one of the precious few things she kept of her old life - is scorched and tattered. Her breastplate, her symbol, is gouged and bloodied.
By all rights, she should be dead. That's what she wanted; their last escape, their last refusal. Instead, she is a prisoner. She is alone. She is powerless.
Indignant fury flashes in her eyes as she speaks. She refuses to let any of her weariness or despair seep into her voice; her words are strong and sure.]
I shouldn't be here. All I did, I did to protect my people. We were not the monsters.
((AU Jean, aka Jehanne, is from BBC Merlin's verse! She thinks she just got here, and that she's an Inmate.))
By all rights, she should be dead. That's what she wanted; their last escape, their last refusal. Instead, she is a prisoner. She is alone. She is powerless.
Indignant fury flashes in her eyes as she speaks. She refuses to let any of her weariness or despair seep into her voice; her words are strong and sure.]
I shouldn't be here. All I did, I did to protect my people. We were not the monsters.
((AU Jean, aka Jehanne, is from BBC Merlin's verse! She thinks she just got here, and that she's an Inmate.))
24 - Video
Feb. 24th, 2014 07:04 pm[Jean's not in her usual clothes. Granted, "usual" ranges from loose sweats to tailored skirts to combat gear.
But she doesn't often wear suits.
She bought it ages back, before Phoenix. It feels stiff and starchy, but it makes her feel a bit more confident. If she's not a professional, she at least looks the part.
She's wearing a pearl necklace, tucked neatly beneath the folded collar.
Her hair is pulled back, her hands clasped in front of her on a polished wooden desk. It's bare, save for several pictures; her parents, her X-Men, Annie.
At first, when she speaks, she sounds stiffly rehearsed; as she goes on, though, her voice loosens and warms.]
Hi. For anyone who doesn't know, my name is Jean. Jean Grey.
I know this flood was difficult for a lot of us. And the next one will be, too, and the next after that.
Most of you know that you have people to talk to, if you need it. I'm not as educated or experienced as they are - I've got my undergraduate degree and that's it. [She doesn't say how it got interrupted; it doesn't matter.]
But I know a lot about - loss and trauma and heartache. I know how to listen.
[She takes a breath, flexes her fingers.]
I'm also a telepath. That - well, it can help. But I won't use it unless you want me to.
If there's anything else you want to know about me, just ask.
[Finally, she smiles.]
You can find me in the infirmary.
[Private to Iris]
[Her smile fades, a bit, as uncertainty returns.]
I talked to Victor. Future Victor, I mean.
[Private to Charles]
[And the smile returns.] I don't know if I ever said thank you, for the office.
And the offer is open to you, too.
But she doesn't often wear suits.
She bought it ages back, before Phoenix. It feels stiff and starchy, but it makes her feel a bit more confident. If she's not a professional, she at least looks the part.
She's wearing a pearl necklace, tucked neatly beneath the folded collar.
Her hair is pulled back, her hands clasped in front of her on a polished wooden desk. It's bare, save for several pictures; her parents, her X-Men, Annie.
At first, when she speaks, she sounds stiffly rehearsed; as she goes on, though, her voice loosens and warms.]
Hi. For anyone who doesn't know, my name is Jean. Jean Grey.
I know this flood was difficult for a lot of us. And the next one will be, too, and the next after that.
Most of you know that you have people to talk to, if you need it. I'm not as educated or experienced as they are - I've got my undergraduate degree and that's it. [She doesn't say how it got interrupted; it doesn't matter.]
But I know a lot about - loss and trauma and heartache. I know how to listen.
[She takes a breath, flexes her fingers.]
I'm also a telepath. That - well, it can help. But I won't use it unless you want me to.
If there's anything else you want to know about me, just ask.
[Finally, she smiles.]
You can find me in the infirmary.
[Private to Iris]
[Her smile fades, a bit, as uncertainty returns.]
I talked to Victor. Future Victor, I mean.
[Private to Charles]
[And the smile returns.] I don't know if I ever said thank you, for the office.
And the offer is open to you, too.
23 - Video - First Day of Flood
Feb. 13th, 2014 10:20 am( Valentines! Morgana, River, Charles, Nathan, Elsa, Kara, Marsh, Rogue )
[Video]
[Jean looks amused, as she twirls newly white hair in her fingers. It's a streak that some will recognise immediately.]
So - do I pull it off?
[Video]
[Jean looks amused, as she twirls newly white hair in her fingers. It's a streak that some will recognise immediately.]
So - do I pull it off?
23 - Alphecca - Video
Jan. 9th, 2014 06:01 pm[Jean considers for a long time, before accessing the network herself. She yearns and dreads seeing familiar faces, but she promised herself before: no more hiding.
She manages a faint smile as she speaks.]
This is the Barge. We're - we try to rehabilitate people, get them back to their own lives. If you're seeing this, some kind of wires got crossed somewhere. It happens sometimes.
[She takes a breath, then, pushing a hand through her hair.]
My name is Jean Grey. Phoenix. If anyone - if you know me, I'd like to see you.
She manages a faint smile as she speaks.]
This is the Barge. We're - we try to rehabilitate people, get them back to their own lives. If you're seeing this, some kind of wires got crossed somewhere. It happens sometimes.
[She takes a breath, then, pushing a hand through her hair.]
My name is Jean Grey. Phoenix. If anyone - if you know me, I'd like to see you.
22 - Alpha Librae - Video
Nov. 1st, 2013 06:43 am[Jean's up late, because she doesn't dare sleep. She doesn't want her mind to pull her back to a different life; a life full of gushing blood and twisted metal.
It's not worse, exactly, than feeling D'Bari die. But knowing she's capable of it without any influence, any corruption - it makes her feel sick inside.
Her fingers twist in her hair as she speaks, solemnly pensive.]
It's funny, isn't it? How one little change can turn us into something we've been fighting most of our lives. [All it took was Magneto finding her first.]
It's not worse, exactly, than feeling D'Bari die. But knowing she's capable of it without any influence, any corruption - it makes her feel sick inside.
Her fingers twist in her hair as she speaks, solemnly pensive.]
It's funny, isn't it? How one little change can turn us into something we've been fighting most of our lives. [All it took was Magneto finding her first.]
