26 - Video - Backdated to Day After the Flood

[fireincarnate]

[Jean looks like herself again - except she's turning the band she wore round and round in her hands.]

So - sorry, to anyone I yelled at.

For anyone who doesn't know, my name is actually Jean, and I'm not a druid. [She sounds a bit wistful, though. The memories aren't quite hers, now, but enough remains that she misses them.

Aglain, she thinks, was a lot like Charles.]

I'm starting to worry about this trend. I've ended up as a terrorist twice, now. [Her lips quirk with a sharp sort of ruefulness.]

[Private to Morgana]

[The wry amusement fades, and her voice is low and soft.]

So. That was Camelot.

[Private to Elsa and Ben, separately]

[This, though, is a bit lighter.]

You were an X-Man, huh?

[Private to Marsh]

[And the amusement returns entirely.]

Thanks for the beer.

Comments

Private

[bothfoulandfair]

Yes, I was.

Private

[fireincarnate]

And you knew me. [The words are softer, now. Uncertain.]

Private

[bothfoulandfair]

Some version of you. I'm not sure if you're the same woman.

[It's not like she knows enough about Jean to say for certain.]

Private

[fireincarnate]

We're probably close.

Who else did you know? [She keeps her tone gentle; she doesn't want to be demanding.]

[keeps_a_cool_head]

Do you feel as though the Admiral is attempting to tell you something about yourself?

[fireincarnate]

Maybe. It depends on how much control he actually has over this stuff.

[keeps_a_cool_head]

Still, given the possibilities, it seems unlikely to have been given the same role twice by random chance. Perhaps there is something innate in your personality to configure it as such.

[fireincarnate]

Probably. [She sounds more resigned, than anything.] I mean - even now, as myself, I can't... I may not agree, not with everything, but I can't really condemn her.

[adelphoktonos]

Do you think they reflect us? These others?

[fireincarnate]

Yes. [She wondered that a lot, when she first got here. When she was still Marvel Girl. Now, there's no doubt at all in her voice.] I think these were the people we could have been, if our lives were different.

[adelphoktonos]

If we were born from other unions or if God had chosen differently for us.

[fireincarnate]

Yes.

The experiences we have, the people we know - it's not all of us, I don't think, but it shapes us.

[Private]

[youwillgotohell]

[It's okay, she's being plenty wry while she figures out how to compartmentalize all this. (She is bound to fail.)]

That was Camelot. You went to war against Uther?

[Private]

[fireincarnate]

Yes. [She smiles, and it's Jehanne's smile, sharp and taut and a little bit cruel.] I like to think we had some success. [She doesn't enjoy what she remembers - but how can she condemn it, when she saw what they were fighting? How would she react, truly, if mutants weren't executed on sight?]

[Private]

[youwillgotohell]

Tell me.

[She smiles, but it doesn't quite reach high enough. There's a hungry look occupying her eyes, a hunger for new ideas, new options, new ways to fight.]

[Private]

[fireincarnate]

[She shouldn't; a part of her knows that. Shouldn't feed Morgana's obsession, shouldn't twist her in worse directions.

But it would feel like a betrayal if she didn't.]

It was - guerilla warfare, basically. We targeted the weak spots, struck as quickly as we could. We tried not to be predictable. We kept moving, always.

We interrupted captures. It was easier to free our people before they got to Camelot's dungeons. We used spies - willing or not.

We made people scared. [And finally, a slight grimace.] We thought - if people were more scared of us than they were of him...

[punched_hitler]

I'm not sure which is worse. A terrorist or a werewolf.

[fireincarnate]

Well, you don't choose to be a werewolf. ...Usually? [She doesn't know a ton of werewolves.]

[punched_hitler]

No. Not usually.

I mean - even if you're born that way, you're still not choosing it.

[But still.] I could see how, uh, certain circumstances might not give a terrorist a whole lot of choice, though, either. [Maybe some. But not much.]

[fireincarnate]

[There's always a choice.

That's the kneejerk answer. That's what Charles would say. But she's not sure it's true, not any more.]

I don't think we had to do it that way. A lot of it was driven by fear, and hatred, and grief. But - no, we didn't have a lot of options.

[myironeyes]

You're welcome.

[fireincarnate]

That was actually my first one. As, you know, actual me.

[ Private ]

[warisart]

It seemed the best choice at the time, yes.

[ Private ]

[fireincarnate]

Was it?

[ Private ]

[warisart]

I would not be able to answer that accurately without further knowledge of the other available options and what consequences they would bear.

I was happy, though. Mostly.