Jean Grey (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fireincarnate) wrote2014-11-06 03:07 pm
fireincarnate) wrote2014-11-06 03:07 pm
31 - Video - Backdated to 4th
[It's amazing, what playing with life and death will take out of you.
She's not sure what she did, exactly - just that she fixed something that was broken, and it took near everything she had. And it came on top of everything else - a month of being helpless, the chaos of the collision, the loss of everyone on Mirror Barge, their own people still missing.
(If she thinks about it took hard - about where Anya might be, if she's even alive - she thinks she might break.)
So she's just been resting. Recovering her strength, regaining her equilibrium. Talking to Morgana helped and hurt in equal measure, but it gave her the push she needed.
She knows how to put on a good face - to look calm and assured, even when she's twisted up inside. Her smile is warm and open, lit by the fire dancing round her fingers.]
I know we're all recovering right now. For those who don't know - I'm something of a therapist. If anyone wants to talk, I'm here.
[Current Patients]
How are you doing? Do you need anything?
[Wichita]
[Her smile turns rueful.] I'm sorry it took me this long to check in. Did you come through everything okay?
[Emperor]
[This is the first time she hesitates. She's not sure how she feels, now, about the choices she made on Mirror Barge. About how she's changed and what that means. About what his goal really was, in guiding her.
But ignoring it would be cowardly - and whatever his reasons, he helped her. He made her feel strong, secure, in ways she didn't think possible.]
I wanted to thank you. [Yes, that's true enough.] I know you had a bigger agenda, there, but I - I think I would have been a lot worse, without you there.
She's not sure what she did, exactly - just that she fixed something that was broken, and it took near everything she had. And it came on top of everything else - a month of being helpless, the chaos of the collision, the loss of everyone on Mirror Barge, their own people still missing.
(If she thinks about it took hard - about where Anya might be, if she's even alive - she thinks she might break.)
So she's just been resting. Recovering her strength, regaining her equilibrium. Talking to Morgana helped and hurt in equal measure, but it gave her the push she needed.
She knows how to put on a good face - to look calm and assured, even when she's twisted up inside. Her smile is warm and open, lit by the fire dancing round her fingers.]
I know we're all recovering right now. For those who don't know - I'm something of a therapist. If anyone wants to talk, I'm here.
[Current Patients]
How are you doing? Do you need anything?
[Wichita]
[Her smile turns rueful.] I'm sorry it took me this long to check in. Did you come through everything okay?
[Emperor]
[This is the first time she hesitates. She's not sure how she feels, now, about the choices she made on Mirror Barge. About how she's changed and what that means. About what his goal really was, in guiding her.
But ignoring it would be cowardly - and whatever his reasons, he helped her. He made her feel strong, secure, in ways she didn't think possible.]
I wanted to thank you. [Yes, that's true enough.] I know you had a bigger agenda, there, but I - I think I would have been a lot worse, without you there.
[private]
[private]
But being caged and tortured isn't really a thing you forget.
[private]
What good is a space- prison rehab blahblah if it does more damage to people than good? You can't really believe any of this is worth it.
[private]
The Barge isn't perfect, but name me a place that is. I've seen just as much loss and suffering back home.
And when people die there - usually, they don't get a second chance.
[private]
[private]
There's more to life than surviving.
[private]
[private]
Laughing with your friends. Losing yourself in books and art and movies. Tormenting your sisters. Climbing so high you feel like you can touch the clouds, and eating horrible food at your favourite diner, and finding little treasures in old shops. Falling in love.
Even when the world is going to hell - you need to make time for that kind of thing. You need to remember.
[private]
[private]
[private]
[ meaning yeah, she might know, but as long as they're hanging out and doing stuff together, Little Rock doesn't really give her that look. like she used to, back when there were things like parties and bars and boys. ]
And she knows just as well as I do that letting yourself get distracted by bullshit instead of making sure to stay alive, and keep moving, isn't worth it.
[ which issss part of why Wichita's here, not that she really gets that yet ]
It would hurt her more if we wound up dead.
[private]
But you know - when you graduate, you don't have to go back there. You can take Little Rock and find a world that's safe.
[private]
Yeah, don't- do that.
[private]
Do what?
Give you hope?
[private]
Not for something like that.
Re: [private]
You deserve that, you know.
[private]
[ a waste of time to try and play me ]
[private]
Or you could become a Warden, make a deal. I did, and I saved my best friend.
[private]
[private]
[She's quiet, for a moment.] Wichita - Inmates tend to end up here when they die.
[private]
[ woops, super selfish. ]
Yeah, I've heard that. Not sure I believe it, though.
Re: [private]
And, well - I know for a fact, personally, that it can take people after death.
[private]
[ she's already told Cassel about this, but saying it again, thinking about the possibility, is still freaking scary ]
[private]
[private]
[ zombies attacked without them waking up to deal with it ]
[private]
[private]
[private]