[There's a brief flash of a derisive smile as Philip looks away for a moment. Is it a chance to confess his sins before she reads all about it? Or is it a chance to explain his side of the story? Whichever it may be, he's not interested.]
Read it. [He makes a face and shrugs a shoulder.] Or don't.
It doesn't matter to me.
[Only it does. It matters so much that it's enough to drive him insane, to drive him to do the terrible, unforgivable things he's done. It matters so much that he has to tell himself it doesn't to feign any sense of stability.]
It won't make a difference.
[And it might. He changed his name, tried to be someone else for a reason. He knew no one could accept him if they knew the things he had done. They'd be afraid of him. They wouldn't need him the way the Chamblers had. But he doesn't want to be needed and he doesn't want to be accepted by anyone here. So it does make a difference, but it's the difference he wants right now as long as it makes people like Jean keep their distance.]
no subject
Read it. [He makes a face and shrugs a shoulder.] Or don't.
It doesn't matter to me.
[Only it does. It matters so much that it's enough to drive him insane, to drive him to do the terrible, unforgivable things he's done. It matters so much that he has to tell himself it doesn't to feign any sense of stability.]
It won't make a difference.
[And it might. He changed his name, tried to be someone else for a reason. He knew no one could accept him if they knew the things he had done. They'd be afraid of him. They wouldn't need him the way the Chamblers had. But he doesn't want to be needed and he doesn't want to be accepted by anyone here. So it does make a difference, but it's the difference he wants right now as long as it makes people like Jean keep their distance.]